We have heard the phrase so many times…opposites attract. But, our similarities actually attract us more.
It may have derived from some physics experiment or some interpretation of the laws of nature, but in my opinion, similarities attract more than opposites do.
I have had a few relationships in my life, not many, I was a late bloomer in many regards. However, I have had enough to know that I could not be happy or have had anything lasting with someone I have nothing in common with.
I have had flings, some physical attraction and fruitful relationships with people who are bit different than me personality wise. However, there was always some commonality that drew us together. If I did a count, the similarities would far outweigh the opposites.
Of course there are going to be difference in personalities in any relationship. We all have different emotions, temperaments and beliefs, but, the bottom line of attraction always comes down to the things we like. That is what draws us closer together, something we can build a bond around. A relationship based on similarities normally lasts longer than those with two different people. This does not only apply to romantic interests, but to any relationship in the physical world. Business, friends, associates, colleagues, those relationships were all formed because you shared some similar interest, had the same motives and your ambitions were somewhat aligned.
The opposites attract theory throws shade on the “birds of a feather flock together” phrase, as it eliminates a connection between our similarities and how they form the relationships that matter to us. However, the “birds of a feather” phrase is a more poignant one as it symbolizes a creation of harmony, which is one of the most important laws of nature.
If you have built relationships with people who you have nothing in common with, those relationships are going to come to a head. At some point that pimple is going to burst, and it will be based on disagreements in beliefs, opinions, likes, dislikes, or just something as simple as the way you speak. Opposite attractions are great at first, many girls/guys like the bad or rebellious guy/gal who make them feel adventurous, someone that satisfies a fantasy or thrill. But, those relationships, if there were any statistics, rarely last because sooner or later the thrill dies and you are left looking for the next fix.
Whether it is a mentor, a teacher, a business partner, a significant other or just a friend, creating meaningful connections around your passions and basic interests will 8/10 times create a harmonious relationship. Of course there will be squabbles and you will not always agree on everything. Even twins get on each other’s nerves every now and then. However, those quarrels will not last as long as they would with someone with totally opposite views and interests. You will surpass them, make up and get back to what really matters, because in the end similarities and positives will always win over opposites and negatives.
Do you believe similarities attract more than opposites?